What can I do?

It's been a while since I've really posted anything...

School is going really well. I'm busy, but it's not necessarily with school work, but lots to do with school. I've been helping to organize for an event this weekend, and I'll be glad once that's done and over with! Next week we have Opera Workshop... and I'll be glad once that's done and over with! The week after is Contemporary Music Festival (my last one! kind of bittersweet)... and I'll be glad once that's done and over with! Pretty much, I'll be glad once this semester is done and over with!

Yes, I'm a busy, busy bee. Still some of the feelings left over from a few posts ago... still working for something...

I have lots less homework, so when I don't have anything to do, I kind of sit there and don't know what to do with myself. But I have been getting more sleep, kinda! I can't stay up all night anymore. If I did I probably couldn't function.

Some things have been really disconcerting. I was talking to the elementary music teacher I am observing for a class, and a lot of the kids in this school go to the Center. So she knows one of the girls that used to come to the Center, who has kind of fallen out, and told me about some of the things she saw in the girls at the school, and it ripped my heart out. It's hard sewing and sewing into these kids and seeing them end up like this... but not because I feel like I've failed.... maybe it's hard for me to understand because I've not walked in their shoes.... what can I do? She's so young, and she's losing her innocence at such a young age because of the crap she sees everyday. I was like, "They said they did WHAT?" No, surely they can't be doing that.... some of them might just be talking to be big and tough... but what if it's for real? What if some of them are trying to be women when they are only 10, just babes in this world? They have so much potential... don't they see that?

Why do I feel powerless to do anything?

How can I bring Jesus to their level, speak to their situations, when I haven't walked in the darkness they have? How can I relate to them when I didn't know what they know at their age?

Can I do this and teach in the public schools? Can I reach into their darkness when I can't even speak the name of Jesus?