Happenings

First of all.... I finished the Chronicles of Narnia tonight. It was simply magnificent... a little confusing at times, but beautiful none-the-less. I had received the book last Christmas and therefore spent most of my Christmas break reading it. All of the books are in one, big, 767-paged book, all in chronological order, not the order in which Lewis published it. I had read through the first five and finished my break in the middle of the sixth. I was not able to pick it back up until this week. I started at the beginning of the sixth book to get my bearings, and I finished the seventh tonight.

I love to read when I get the chance. I used to read so much, but I also lost myself in the magic of those books and sometimes they became a little too real. Now, a little bit of imagination is great in children, and all children should be allowed to exercise their imaginations, but I sometimes took it a little bit too far. I could go back and reread them now and totally understand. But back then I didn't.

Anyway, I perceive myself to be a slow reader, and sometimes I have difficulty understanding what I'm reading--mostly some of the images presented in the text. I like to have a visual, which is why I'm glad when they make some books into movies. I don't like that they change what happens between the book and the screen. For example, the little "crush" thing between Prince Caspian and Queen Susan? NO. NEVER HAPPENED. That's a stupid Hollywood addition. No, Prince Caspian is supposed to fall in love with the star lady in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. THANKS DISNEY. And Peter, if I recall correctly, was never that selfish in the book. They never left Aslan's How. But WHATEVER.

Secondly, we had so much fun on the field trip today with the Center. We took all of the K-5 students to Connor Prarie in Fishers, IN. It is like a pioneer-type place where they show you what life was like BEFORE mp3 players. Like, after we left, I found out that they actually live in the houses, like they would have a long time ago. How SWEET would that be to do for a living?

The girls I had in my group were so inquisitive and just loved getting to see all the different aspects of life they had. Sometimes they had ADD and couldn't stay in one place for a second, and other things they were genuinely interested in.

THE best moment of the day happened toward the end of the trip. We went inside one of the houses in the "town" and we met this very tall man named Richard. He lived at the hotel (where you could stay for 12.5 cents a night) across the town. He told us to tell his mother hello for him. So, I decided since it was the end of the day, to make a game out of it... I turned it into a mission for the 7 girls, and they took to it. We found Richard's mother, and delivered the message. She said in return, "Go tell him that I appreciate the message, but he needs to come home and clean up his mess," which was some blankets and plates and silverware on the floor. SO... we HAD to go back to the other end of town to find Richard, and the girls BEGGED and pleaded with Richard to go home and clean up his mess. (I'm not saying this with a complaining tone, believe me... I thought this was so funny) On the way back to the hotel, the girls tried to convince Richard to marry me (I laughed) and tried to get him to sing a song. We made it back to the hotel, and Richard's mother told him to clean up his mess. He struck a deal with the girls that if they would help clean up the mess, he would sing them a song. So, they helped with the mess... Richard really didn't have to do anything but tell them where to put the stuff. He then sang them a song and we had to leave to get back to the busses. THAT was probably one of the funnest things I have ever done. They made it into a game, and got to experience some new things... it was just fantastic. Praise Jesus. :)

Thirdly, we finished up our Bait of Satan series with John Bevere... and God totally broke me down. I had been fighting to give God some things that had happened earlier this summer, and I was struggling to forgive this person, and while I have forgiven them (and I shall continue praying for him and his future wife), God is beginning the true healing process of my heart. I wept on the altar like I haven't wept for a long time. I mean, I couldn't hold it in any longer. It was beautiful. My whole countenance had changed... I felt joy like I hadn't felt for a long time. I felt so light...

Fourthly, I have been fighting God on some other things... and I totally didn't deserve this, but God knows how much I love looking at/being in His creation in nature. I was walking home from the computer lab, and a huge storm was rolling in. Yes, it did knock some power out the next day, but as it was coming in, it was absolutely beautiful. Because it was dark, you couldn't see the clouds but for the lightening that was flashing inside the clouds themselves. It was so powerful. God knows I love that kind of stuff, and totally chose to show me His love through it.

I'm finding that I'm going through a season on struggling with the flesh. Not that I question my salvation, because I don't. I guess just a season of maturing? It's kind of difficult sometimes, but I suppose we must all walk through these times. And the fact that I'm being so stubborn about some things, and yet God chooses to bless me with His love and presence through these times, is absolutely amazing. Not that I should take that as an invitation to abuse God's grace, but I know I don't deserve it at all.

I know God will show me the reason someday for His putting a stubbornness in me like you wouldn't believe. I know that when God made me and formed me in the womb, He had to have said, "Man, this girl's going to give the devil a run for his money when she gets stubborn about the RIGHT things." And I know someday the devil's gonna be like, "Aw, crap."

God put so many qualities in me that just need some refining... I'm a redhead (not to make generalizations about redheads, but...), so I'm very passionate about things and quite the little pistol sometimes. Someone once told me that they wanted to see more emotional stability out of me, and they said I had this look on my face, and said to themselves, "Oh, God, what have I done?" Later on this person said how much they loved my emotional-ness, and that it was beautiful.

I used to be really soft-spoken... you wouldn't believe a word of that now, but I used to be really afraid of speaking up, especially in a group. Like, I wouldn't want to interrupt in conversations because I didn't believe that what I had to say was important. So people would be conversing about something, and then they would finish, and I would put in my two cents. They said, "Teresa, that conversation finished ten minutes ago." So, I stopped talking all together.

Something has happend in the last three years of college to change that. Now I have an opinion about almost everything... sometimes I just look for something to say just to say it, even if that's not what I really mean... so now, it's just looking for wisdom, and understanding that what I have to say is valuable, but that doesn't mean that everything said is necessary. BALANCE. I guess that's the word I'm looking for.

BALANCE. That's what I need. In all things.

I tend to think in extremes. If I make a mistake, I always fear for the worst of things. Ask my friends who went on the Europe trip. I told a joke, and, silly, sheltered, little ol' me didn't get the punch line (I AM PROUD TO BE "NAIVE" AND "SHELTERED," thank you very much). Well... I thought the joke was funny, and nobody laughed, so I said, "Thanks guys for not laughing!!!" and the people around me had to explain the punch line to me. I said, "I TOLD A DIRTY JOKE AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!!" Everyone laughed... only that would happen to me. But I just sat there and worried about my witness... what kind of image did that portray of Jesus in me? Oh, God, forgive me for not knowing... Well, silly thing to worry about. The Lord knows my intentions, and nobody thought bad of me, because, well, it's Teresa. They know I don't know a lot about the "world's ways." They know I don't get "dirty things" right away, and I like it that way. Even Dr. Buchanan was like, "Please just accept the fact that it's funny." And I said, "It's not!" I was half-laughing, half-crying. We happened upon a group of polizia riding their motorcycles, and one of my good friends said, "Teresa, Jesus called the police on you and told them to arrest you." They made light of it. I guess I should, too.

In another instance on the trip, on the second to last day, as we were eating dinner, Geoff, our tour manager, said, "The place of worship is open until midnight..." and instantly I got excited because I thought he was talking about CHURCH. Place of worship = church, in my mind. "Okay, okay, I mean the bar." I totally felt dumb because I thought he was talking about church. No, he was talking about alcohol. WHATEVER. People laughed again. Only Teresa.

However, I know I was a light to Geoff. Because at the end of the trip, he did a good-bye, "What I learned on this trip" kind of speech. About the third item he listed was this: "I learned that even when Teresa is sick, she's happy and beautiful." I took that to heart so much, because I want to make sure that I am ALWAYS being a good witness and making a positive impact on those around me.

Sorry this is so long, but I haven't made a positive post for a while and I wanted to share some good news.